Updated: 7 days ago
I can't describe the exact feeling of being interested in Mormonism,
but I was moving forward with the E-Brake on.
Everything in my mortal mind told me, "No! Don't do it! Mormons are lame. How you gonna all of a sudden defend something you've critiqued half your life? What are you going to tell your family? What are you going to tell your friends who know you as the druggie? No, I don't "love" drugs. I love marijuana, mushrooms, and mdma. The rest of the drugs have ruined my life and my brother's life. What are you going to do about drugs?! Why would you identify as a chaste prude that doesn't drink or do drugs? You know that's apart of their game. You can't lie to lie to yourself or them, you love drugs. Everything in my spiritual mind told me: "Bitch! You need a revelation." I made a mess of my life and was open to trying anything. I wanted to change, I was afraid to change, and rationalized such major decision/E Brake feeling like this: If you don't like it, you can always go back to your miserable life.
Once I took all the mind-game/superficial pressure off the situation, I was a little more open to this scary, foreign thing.
Read the book of Mormon
Read under the banner of heaven.
I could continue to doubt like I'd always done, or believe. Believe in God. Believe in Jesus. Believe in Joseph Smith and a story that sounds far-fetched.
"It whispereth me."
This talk touched my heart.
If I become a Mormon,
Then I truly will not give a f#ck what the world thinks of me.