Updated: Mar 27
Mitchell's invitation to join the Mormon Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was not something I wanted to do. I wasn't ready for it when he asked. I liked Mitchell, but I did not like Mormons, and I didn't like the idea of being a Mormon.
When he broke up with me, I had to admit, the only light in my life was gone.
I wondered if his belief had anything to do with it?
I continued my life as it was, taking pills, drinking, smoking weed, and going to school. When Mitchell broke up with me, all I had were the echo of his last words in my mind:
"You need to take accountability for your actions."
He was right.
I've spent all my life blaming others.
Just like my mom has always blamed my dad.
Just like my grandma has always blamed for grandpa.
I think I even tried to blame him when I crashed his car.
For once in my life,
I need to take accountability.
It's time I see my part in things.
The good, the bad, all of it.
I have a choice how I'm going to use my thoughts and actions. I have a choice how I'm going to perceive life. If my boyfriend didn't tell me: "You need to take accountability for your actions." I may have spent the rest of my life stuck in a blaming mind-set. Blaming others. I could be repeating the same insane stories over and over again like my parents!
If I'm being perfectly honest:
I've spent my whole life blaming other people.
It's time to take a look at myself and my actions. What's my part in things? Every thing that happened to me - all the arguments, contention, ex-boyfriends -
all of it.
It's time to let go.
The only thing that gave me hope, was the missionaries invitation to investigate the Gospel of Jesus Christ.