Updated: May 15, 2020
I was addicted to pharmaceutical drugs. Anything to take my mind off the reality of a disturbed life. Klonopin, Loratab, Oxycontin, Morphine, Aderrall and Ritalin. I'd chase them with vodka orange juice, smoke 1-2 bowls of weed, and die without quite dying. I couldn't get higher.
I loved pills. I was addicted to pills. If I ever passed an orange bottle, I'd glance at the prescription. If it ended in a tab or a pam, I'd look it up. If the side effect was dizzy or light head, I took it. I sourced them through a disguise past the Statute of Limitations.
Clonazepam was the first pill I took. Within an hour, I released all tension and anxiety. No longer were the "problems" in my life problems, but a laughing matter. I felt good inside, and good for days.
I didn't want to be in this world.