Updated: Mar 25


Having a baby was crazy.

I can't believe I just had a baby.

Growing it was one thing. Pushing it out of my body was a Super Heroic feat.

I pushed a baby! Out of my body. Omg... He's alive. Omg... He's real.

I couldn't believe the experience I had. It was like lightning flashed through my vagina and created a spirit into a child on Earth. I'd hate to be one of those parents,

but look at him:

He's an angel!

Straight out of heaven.

I'm in a dreamlike state.

Now, I have to learn how to breast feed him.


Is painful and magical.

It's actually really painful to have a baby suck your nipple as hard as it takes at first. Then, after 1-2 weeks it's intuitive. I highly recommend breast feeding if you can. The bond is unbelievable. It also made me think how much the human species are mammals. It's a tremendous bonding opportunity. Really, really try. It's essential. If you can't, don't beat yourself up about it. Bottle feeding gives the husband no excuse to help less than 50% of the time.

I think we were more excited to have him, than he was to have us.

Here's what they don't tell you:

1. It takes 1-3 months to fully heal. 6 in some cases. Years in many others.

The woman often shoulders 50%-100% of the responsibility.

Men (dead-beats and providing husbands) 0% - 50%.

You'll go from life being 100% you to 100% baby.

It's the greatest responsibility and joy.

It can be hard to transition your time. At first, babies are so incredible, it makes perfect sense to dedicate 100% of your energy to the baby.

2. You'll need a strong vagina & pelvis to push that baby without breaking your hips or ripping your vag-butthole. After you give birth to the baby, you'll give birth to the sh*t after called "after-birth". I've personally never seen what it looks like, but I've heard horror stories... From my husband.

3. Everyone who asked:

"When are you going to have a baby?!" Is nowhere to be found.

They'll come by. Maybe leave dinner or a present. Thumbs up all the posts on Instagram and never stop by again. It's extremely rare to find anyone to baby more than 3 hours.

4. The hardest part about having a baby:

No time.

No sleep.

I'd go from 24 hrs of free time to 20 minutes.

5. Having a baby will give birth to a new you.

A baby is the purest most precious, innocent source of light. Babies brighten the world. The innocence of a baby invites you to look at the world through eyes pure and light again.

Then, there were 3.

©Val Douroux 2022