Updated: Jun 25, 2020
I can't explain it,
but I was moving towards Mormonism with the E-Brake on.
I looked at Mitchell, the only light in my life - gone - and sincerely wondered:
Is it Mormonism? Is that light? That hope? Is that what comes from being a Mormon? How?
"Just have faith!"
Everything in my natural mind said, "Are you crazy?! It's a cult. Don't do it!" Mormons are weird. Everything in my spiritual mind told me: "B*tch! You need a revelation." I made a mess of my life and knew I had to change.
How do you gonna explain this to your family and friends, Valerie, you're a heathen? You love drugs. I don't "love" drugs. I love marijuana, mushrooms, and mdma. I'd love to understand
I want to change.
I was open to trying anything. I thought about all the people in my life, and of all them Mitchell had the most light. Everything about my thoughts and actions cultivated darkness, but in the presence of Mitchell, I felt lighter in spirit.
I thought about Mormonism.
I thought there must be something to it.
The people, for the most part, have a light, calm, happy countenance.
If you don't like it, you can always go back to your miserable life.
Once I took all the mind-game/superficial pressure off the situation, I was a little more open to this scary, foreign thing.
Read the book of Mormon
Read under the banner of heaven.
I could continue to doubt like I'd always done, or believe. Believe in God. Believe in Jesus. Believe in Joseph Smith and a story that sounds far-fetched.
"It whispereth me."
This talk touched my heart.
If I become a Mormon,
Then I truly will not give a f#ck what the world thinks of me.