Updated: May 15, 2020
I was a horrible human.
I was making indulgent choices,
Unconscious of the consequences until they slapped me in the face.
I hated my choices, and yet I couldn't stop making them?! I had never been closer to the devil. In my thoughts and perceptions...
Every thought, haunting.
The Mormons said, "beware of the devil" and I mocked them.
"The devil"... Who believes in the devil? Except you? Stupid. The devil is only real if you believe in him, and I choose not - Thanks! The idea of God and the devil was an illusion created by man. By "religious" coo coo clocks that claim to love Jesus their savior, and cheat on their wives. Religious men for the most part are hypocrites.
No one in my life is a good example of religion.
Not my family.
Not the Pedophile Priests.
Not even the Mormons baptizing Ted Bundy in the middle of his murder spree.
Religion is just bizarre.
Religious men claim to be one thing and act like another. For the most part, it seems like religious people are full of guilt. Either that or a constant striving to perfection, exaltation that leads to a secret gay, porn, or drug addiction. Religious people have problems, and among them, Utah especially.
I hate that "religion" is supposed to be the thing to pull me out of a funk. Is it really tho? Dad, is Catholicism the thing? Mitchell... Mormonism is supposed to be the thing?
It doesn't looks fun.
It looks miserable. Religion looks miserable,
Like I am right now.
I was haunted by all my choices.
Haunted by misrepresenting like a ho.
I dug a hole so deep, I had no idea how to get out.