Updated: Mar 30, 2020
I was engaged and married in the same week. Everyone thought I was secretly pregnant.
The truth is, I was obeying the Law of Chastity. A first. Mitchell wanted to get married, and I'm glad he fought for it. I made the suggestion that we live together first. He said he didn't compromise like that, and I thought that was instantly attractive.
The first real conversation we had about marriage was in October. He had "a revelation" that he no longer wanted to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He wanted to follow his dreams of moving to Los Angeles to film skateboarding.
I had just moved to New York with goals of being a boss b*tch like Sex in the City. I was 25. He was 19, and living with his mom. Then, dad. I loved him, but I couldn't let love blind reality. He had to move, be self-reliant, and gain real life experience before I could be his wife.
He was still living in Utah, and I was living in New York City. Marriage was a nice idea, but could I do it? I'm wild and independent. I liked the idea of having a reliable man to share life and have sex with, but I also was no stranger to witnessing bad marriages. Like my parents.
Within a month, Mitchell moved to LA. He took film jobs off Craigslist, and filmed his friends Ricky Chavez, Lamont Holt, Judson McCann, and Kwami Adzitso skateboarding.
He moved out.
He got his own apartment.
He furnished his own apartment & that was shocking.
I was inspired by his determination, and also scared by it too. I realized he was making an undeniable effort to do the things I said I wanted, and that scared me. Prior to this, marriage was just an idea.
Now, it was a reality.
Could I sacrifice my life and freedom for a man? Is he the one? Really, the one? He was nice, tall, had morals and a good work ethnic. I'd honestly never met better. No one, not even my own dad, loved or respected me as much as him. He baptized me. He inspired me to make better choices. He changed my life.
In April, I had a revelation:
I could be like the women in Sex and City (with successful careers & God-awful love lives), or I could humble my spirits and marry the love of my life. I knew I had a lot of weird sh*t to work out from my parents relationship, and got the affirmation that Mitchell was just kind and willing enough to do it.
In May, I moved to Los Angeles.
On a Saturday after location scouting in Topanga, Mitchell proposed to me on the cliffs of San Pedro.
I think we spent 4-5 hours in a car that day... All planning to get married that Friday!