Updated: Apr 8, 2020
Being pregnant is a blessing and a curse.
It's a blessing because it's a miracle to grow human life inside of you. It's a curse in month 8 when you're so pregnant your feet are pregnant and the goal is to push a 10" baby head out of a 10 cm vagina (that will never be the same).
Being pregnant is an interesting experience.
It's physically exhausting and mentally inspiring. You carry a life inside of you that grows off your nourishing resources. In a spiritual realm, it's divine. In an earthy realm, it's a ritual, apart of the circle of life, an honor, a beauty pageant. People look at you. Strangers judge you. If they're nice, they'll smile. If they're real outgoing, they'll engage a conversation.
"Are you pregnant?" ... "I better be."
"How far along are you?" 5 months!
"Is it a boy or a girl?" Boy. Thank God. Yes, it's so silly. I'm grateful he's a boy to carry on the legacy of the Schultz Clan I don't know.
"Is this your 1st?" Yes. What if he was my second? Would this question feel worse?
Was it planned?
Was it planned?
It wasn't planned, and it wasn't not planned.
The revelation was a long time coming.
My husband and I talked about having a baby, but didn't make any real plans. The real defining moment came from a homeless man (or woman) that looked like Spike Lee in She's Gotta Have It. This person crossed our path on a mid-Saturday morning walk in downtown Los Angeles, stopped us dead in our tracks, and said, "I know she ready!" I asked, "Ready for what?" S/he laughed, and said: "Ready for that baby!"
I didn't question it.
I took it as a sign from God.
Why not have a baby?
Even though I had a lot going on, I felt like I could handle it.
I couldn't explain it at the time, but something definitely felt like it was missing in my life.
I've honestly done everything I've wanted to do...
I could still do things once I had a baby.
By month 8, I was ready to have the baby.